i'm a mish-mesh of incoherant thoughts,
i deny and lie when i get caught.
i'm full of cheap excuses and 'it's okay'.
'i don't give a damn', it's what i'd say.

i think i'm nice, well i pretend
i act like it, but i condescend
i pride myself in my 101 theories
beat myself down with my split personalities


i read up on shit like 'Existential Nihilsm'
i mess my friends' minds with my pessimism
i say there is no point in this life or the next
i agree with Freud, we in it for sex

i convince myself too well, too much
i disapprove of love and such
i think 'love' does not exist
i see it everywhere, but i persist

i think 'love' is just a word created
to make all this shit sound sophisticated
i swear i think it's a load of bull
i think 'love' is/are for fucked-up fools.

first thing's first, a girl meets guy
all is well and both are fucking shy
everyday is just like a sweet dream
time passes so quickly, or so it seems

these two learn more about each other
of each other's habits, sooner or later
habits both won't like, but they keep mum
well, they don't know that silence will do harm

both earn cavities in their respective hearts
they both get hurt, sustain superficial cuts
this goes on for a near eternity or until
one of them breaksdown and spill.

the harsh reality of being in a relationship
is thrust to their faces, it'll shut their lips
henceforth, heaven on earth and all that's well
will, enevitably turn to living-hell.

more lies are told, it will come to pass
creates deeply anchored animosity and distrust
it will reach a point when one starts to wonder
was there a point? at all? to love another?

i know, i know, i really hate to admit
i'm just bitter, but i won't succumb to defeat
i abide by my self-formulated principles and theories
i'm losing this self-imposed battle, but i insist.

it's 3.25 in the am right now
i still cant get to bed somehow.
i've run out of words and rhyme
guess.. i'll write again some other time.

and it was night again -12:46 AM-